Mom was with me all Friday after midnight and all morning in the house. I drove into Milford for the noon Mass at St. Patrick's and that's where I left her. The mass had been hers, anyway. I think she was happy to be there; and once I finished my rosary, lit a candle under Our Lady and walked out into the sunshine, she was no longer with me.
Friday, May 29th. 4 years she's been gone. I gave her a mass, simple and quiet, and all things Catholic. Maybe that's why she made our flowers topple over in the funeral home the first time we walked in; she was not happy with the "arrangements" made by my father and his pastor. Nothing I could do then; everything I can do now. Her prescence was so strong on Friday. Nothing I have ever felt before; I almost expected to see her standing in the bedroom had I turned on a light. She was there. And, I took her to church, and she went another way. It was all I could hope for. It set my mind at rest. After four years.
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May. Memorare. The month of Mary. Our Mother. This month, special to me of all months in the year.
Thinking about it, it begins on the 6th with my grandmother, Stella. My mother's mother. My Polish grandmother, who loved to crochet, and could make a mean cole slaw and the best golomki in the world! She taught me unconditional love.
Then, on the 13th, (Our lady of Fatima), there is Miss Anne. My dancing teacher. I knew her most of my life for the first twenty years or so, and my memories of lessons, and costumes, and recitals could fill a book! Maybe down the road.
On the 22nd, there is Fr. Norman. A Passionist priest from Georgian Court U. in Lakewood. Always there, always with a smile and a "hiya", and his sermons were second to none.
And, of course, on the 29th comes my mother.
Four weeks, a different death in each week; someone near and dear to me, someone who made such an impact, such an impression. No one will ever take their place. Just think on all the children aborted, who will impact no one, whose impression is stamped in the air. With the angels.
"No one lights a lamp and hides it in a jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, he puts it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light." Lk 11:33.
There are some who never see the light.
